All about the 'F' word

That's right. The flu hit us where it hurt. Helena, now 3 1/2, came down with nasty flu symptoms Friday, the 13th. Ironic, eh? We're all generally healthy so I figured some Motrin or Tylenol every 4 hrs and a big box of tissues would get us through the next few days as we let this thing run its course. Over the weekend, her temp sat at around 105-106 pretty consistently, maybe dropping to 103, 2 hrs after meds. I wasn't really sure why they weren't as effective as usual (I can usually see the effect after 30 mins or so), but this virus was a tough one. We assumed H1N1 since it's what has been going around and also know that after 48 hrs, the antiviral meds are ineffective (ie, tamiflu) Warning: The following is a detailed story, probably boring to most, if not all :)


Going into 4 days with a temperature that high is enough to get me to send her to the pediatrician. So Monday, we went in, listed symptoms to rule out other possibilities such as ear infections, strep, bronchitis, etc. Her lungs, ears, throat were all clear. No definite diagnosis, so we assumed flu (still) but since the H1N1 test was so inaccurate (and we would not likely get the results until she was over it anyhow) the pediatrician didn't see the point. We were instructed to just try to keep her as comfortable as possible with the OTC meds.

Later that night, Patrick was away at a Flyers game (I was jealous because I was supposed to go, but duty called :) and Helena's condition worsened. I came close to packing up the kids and heading to the ER but thought I'd call the Dr. first since I know Addison had a horrifying experience there a couple yrs ago, which still haunts him. After speaking to the nurse who went back and forth between the Dr. and I with instructions to count her pulse rate and respirations, I was told that since her lungs were clear earlier that day, it was unlikely that things would have changed so dramatically by that evening. I decided to wait it out a few hours and was happy that she started to feel a little relief. As the week continued, her temp slowly started to drop, but never really fell below 102ish. Even more odd, her demeanor was getting worse, though exhaustion from the flu and lack of sleep will make anyone miserable. Her biggest complaint was her belly. She'd repeatedly whine over and over, nonstop, that her belly hurt 'so bad'. Patrick called the Dr. that evening and the pediatrician was nice enough to see us at 7:30 that night. Lungs were still clear and they had no obvious answer. Finally, the Dr. told us she thought this is when we needed to take her to the hospital to be tested and observed overnight. The flu lasts between 3-5 days, and we were going into day 7. Plus, sometimes kids complain about their belly when they have pneumonia since the pain can sit low in the chest and it's the best description a young child can give.

This was a struggle for us. We knew what would happen... the IV, multiple blood tests, etc. Were we being TOO proactive? Maybe she'd feel better by the morning, right? Patrick even went back into the dr's office to make sure it was absolutely necessary. We had one scarred child, we didn't need two. We decided that it would tough putting her through it if it wasn't really anything, but knew we couldn't bear the guilt of not doing anything if there were actually a problem.

In we went, and the fun began. Yes, the IV, the blood testing, deep nose swabbing, x-rays... the works. BUT! an answer! Indeed, it was pneumonia. And nothing to be overlooked. This was a fairly significant size infection that was going to take time and lots of meds to get through. Now, this is a first for me, and I found the diagnosis to be pretty horrifying. But we were at the hospital; we had a great staff with Drs. that seemed capable... what better place to be? So, after 3 scary days of being there (and long for me since I did not leave either), she was released. We're all relieved that she's starting to feel better finally, but we know she still has quite some time to get the infection out of her system and completely recover.

This will be a memorable Thanksgiving. I will always be grateful that my little 25 lb girl made it through this scary trial in her young life and I know how lucky we are to walk away from this experience without any long term problems. (sigh) I’m tired.

 

Venting of the Day

I've never been a vengeful person. In fact, I can honestly say I've never even hated anyone... until recently. What's hardest is that as much as I try not to, I can't help it. Part of me doesn't want to, I suppose. I've been personally attacked and insulted like most people, but I'm usually understanding of why someone takes it to a level like that. When I get heated enough, I say things just to be hurtful, because I feel hurt. Though sometimes true statements and feelings, those are things that need not be said as all they will do is hurt someone.
So... goal #1: stop saying hurtful things just to p*ss someone off for the simple reason of being upset myself.

I'm also struggling with the 'moving on' process. Individuals who have hurt my family and I believe that moving on means to just sweep it under the rug. Let's not talk about it because, even though it's on your mind and creating your current feelings, it just isn't pleasant for those who caused the mess. So let's just not throw it in their faces since, hey, they admitted their wrong and have apologized, right? What more could possibly be expected from them? What's that? Sincerity, you say?
Normally, I can move beyond painful experiences, but now, with children, the mama claws come out and stay out until problem is handled to her standard. So if you think that years of screwing someone over should be resolved within a couple months, I'll be happy to tell you where to go. In my opinion, I'm doing the world a favor by delivering the truth to those who may be as naive as I once was.
This is something I never expected to have to teach my children. It's a sad truth. Don't trust anyone, especially those who you should be able to trust, as they can hurt you more deeply than anyone else. Always have a backup plan and never depend on anyone but yourself.
ahhh... glad to get off my chest, lol